Addressed To: Everyone Who Enjoys Children's Shows

Recently, I have come across many children's youtube videos that have gained millions of views, yet my friends have never heard of them. These videos are absolutely amazing works of cinematography, and I would wish to share all of them with you today, as I am deeply concerned with these works not living up to the many views they have.

Firstly, here is a short that is only 18 seconds long and has over 16 million views, a true gem:


Short and sweet, a video 8 seconds long which also has over 16 million views:


Next, is a more serious video, which has over 13 million views:


And now, a feature about the rivalry of Barney and Elmo (9 million views):


A real shocker, the truth behind Spongebob, which is supported by over 14 million views:


Of course, this list would not be complete without the all-time classic of Spongebob in China, which has over 70 million views!


I hope everyone has enjoyed this post, and maybe finally, we can spread the word about these amazing videos. How can you help? Show them to your younger siblings, or if you're a parent, then to your children. They'll surely learn a few new things!

Sincerely,
A concerned citizen

Disclaimer: All events are fictional and do not reflect the opinions of the blog owner

Addressed To: People Who Can't Spell

I find it hard to believe that people above the age of seven still manage to not understand the difference between homophones such as "your" and "you're", and "it's" and "its". Its really astounding how stupid people are nowadays, even my mom new the difference between various homophones when she was ten. Another thing that just irks me is that people are to lazy too capitalize there "i"s and add apostrophe's to the wrong places. It isn't that hard to proofread you're work, people!! Also, i don't have to proofread, you know why? I have something called spellcheck, witch puts a red squiggly line under each word I incorrectly spelled, and so far as i am typing this, I don't see one. Quite amazing, isn't it?
Remember, reading is just like writing, and if you can reed properly, then you can also rite.
Please people, make an effort to spell correctly.

Thanks!

Sincerely,
A concerned citizen

Disclaimer: All events are fictional and do not reflect the opinions of the blog owner

Addressed To: All Canadian Citizens

elections r so stupid.srsly the guvernment (not da club, that place liiive) is so stupid nd i think that no1 shuld vote, but if you do, vote for da sex party, rhinoceros party or da pirate party (cuz, who dun like pirates? sum r pretty sic u no, mossin on boats errday and not going 2 skewl is da lyfe). meybe u culd vote for all four of dem
nyway here are sum reasons i came up with 2 show dat da guvernment sux:
-dey make u go 2 skewl (wich we all no is a waste of time)
-taxes r rlly high (i meen not blazed, lyke high as inn "alot")
-da cops dun accept bribe (i tried to give that mofo $100 he say no)
-notin gets done in da parliaments (meybe if dey legelize weed den dey culd all smoke and chill like dey du in jamaica)
-da legal drinking age makes gud IDs cost a lotta $$$, bad for da poor who cant aford (guvernment shuld give finincial aids for dis kinda tingz)
-no law against ppl hatin on ur swagg
dats enuff education for 1 concern rmmber ppl, guvrnments sux

Sincerely,
A concerned clubbing citizen

Disclaimer: All events are fictional and do not reflect the opinions of the blog owner

Addressed To: Late Night TTC Commuters

Hi!
It has come to my attention that whenever I take public transit (specifically the TTC) during the late hours of the night, that male commuters all of a sudden have this inexplicable desire for ice cream and yogurt, and are disrespectful enough to leave it all over the seats upon exit. I understand that it's possible to be hungry during the night, but may you please limit the amount of sticky residue left behind after finishing by simple cleaning up?
Thanks!

Sincerely,
A concerned commuting citizen

Disclaimer: All events are fictional and do not reflect the opinions of the blog owner

Addressed To: Those Looking for Sticky Notes @ Dollarama

     A few months ago, I had the fortune of being able to take part in writing exams (oh the joy!), and to ail my studying, I decided to venture out of my cozy enclave to a commercial district twenty minutes away to buy some sticky notes.
     The key word here is sticky.
     "What place would be better for such a thing other than Dollarama?" That is exactly what I thought to myself as I stepped into the store, where a long line formed at the cash registers by frugally dressed persons of various ethnicities.
     I made my way through the mess of the store to the stationary section, and after I had walked the quarters of the aisle, I had found the perfect item. Or what I had thought was the perfect item. I picked up what seemed to be Hannah Montana sticky notes. Oh how awesome! I love Hannah Montana! It wasn't until I got home and opened the pack that I realized that they weren't sticky at all. They were just sticky note shaped, and in fact, cost $1.25, not the $1 that Dollarama used to sell everything for.
     I was angry. Beyond angry. Not only was I scammed out of my $1.25, but I had winded up with about 50 pictures of Ms. Montana which refused to stick anywhere.

Lesson to learn from this?
Don't purchase Hannah Montana "sticky notes" in Dollarama.

Sincerely,
A concerned citizen

Disclaimer: This is a real event

Addressed To: All Parents

   It's a gorgeous spring day today, and not only is it a Friday, it's also an exceptionally sunny and warm day. It's one of those days where you just feel the need to go take a stroll in the park and admire everything that nature beholds, ranging from the blossoming foliage to the dog shit that owners are too lazy to pick up. As I'm taking a quiet stroll down the path leading into a small wood, contemplating everything that is going on in my life, I hear a horrible and dreaded noise - kids.
   My peaceful lapse into deep thought is suddenly interrupted by childrens' laughter. All of a sudden, before I have time to react, a soccer ball hits my head. Fucksalt. Fucking niggertits. It hurts. A fucking lot. As the ball bounces off and lands on a hill near me and rolls to my feet due to this miracle called gravity, I regain myself. What the fuck, you shitheads!? I pick up the ball and throw it with all of my might at the nearest kid, hitting him square in the stomach. Yeah? How'd you like that, you bastard?
   This is where I take in my surroundings. In front of me are about five kids looking no older than six and a middle aged couple standing with their mouths open in shock. Maybe it was because they were awe-struck by my impressive throw, or maybe by the fact that everything in italics is what I actually exclaimed out loud. I soon got my answer.
   "Excuse me, but that kind of language is not appropriate, and neither was your conduct just now," barked the man at me, "it was obvious that Sammy here didn't have any intention of hurting you."
---------------
  This is where I'll break away from my engrossing retell of this event and state all of the problems I already have with this man, and what I wish I had said to him:
1)    My language is not appropriate!? Who the fuck do you think you are, a teacher or something? My language is fully appropriate, not only that, it was also honest.
   Your kid is a shithead, admit it. He accidentally kicked a ball in my face, I threw it tactfully right into his stomach, successively knocking the wind out of him. Which one of us is better? Obviously not the six year old cocksucker.
2)    Also, your kids have to learn this kind of language at one time or another. Remember that kid in elementary school who taught you new words and phrases all of the time? The cool kid, the one that made everyone else feel like an outcast? The one that got his first run-in with the cops in grade 7, winning the mad respect from everyone? Well, you can be him now and educate these little asses about the beauty of the English language. But obviously, you're failing as a parent, as you're probably one of those that has channel block turned on when the kids take the tv remote.
   But hey, by choosing to avoid certain words, aren't you in fact trying to segregate those words from the rest of the English language? Doesn't that send the message that not all words belong together and that since some are vulgar, we should just eliminate them? Well, I have news for you, buddy, Hitler thought the same too, just with people, and that led to World War 4 (or whichever war that was after World War 1).
3)    My conduct wasn't appropriate!? I just gave four of your idly standing kids a lesson on how you throw a soccer ball into someone's stomach. People pay for lessons you know, and I just gave your kids a free one. Where's the thanks that I deserve?
4)   The shithead's name is Sammy? Seriously? Not only is that one of the crappiest names I've heard (you can tell the kid was a mistake by the lack of time they had to come up with something more creative), but honestly, I don't give a fuck what your kid's name is. For me, he'll still stay as "that shithead that kicked a ball in my face" (for those of you that just started reading this part and skipped the beginning, I'm talking about a soccer ball, not what you dirty assholes are thinking).

   So now, instead of continuing to enjoy my stroll in the park, I had to retreat to my basement so I could write all about you and your shitty kids.

Lesson to learn from this?
Don't take your kids to the fucking park unless you're willing to show how much you fail as a parent publicly.

Sincerely,
A concerned citizen

Disclaimer: All events are fictional and do not reflect the opinions of the blog owner